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So...it's been a while. I haven't had the motivation to do anything the last couple of months. Work has been stressful home has been stressful, family, friends, and most importantly
I called my boss' boss one day because my co-workers and I were fed up with him not doing anything. That went horrifyingly wrong. He turned it around so that it looked like we were acting like spoiled children. He lied to me about so many things just to cover his own ass. But he got what he wanted. We're all too scared to try and rise against him again.
My toilet broke. We contacted the landlords but since they don't work on weekends we got stranded with no toilet for 3 DAYS. They kept insisting that if they snaked it enough that would fix it. Eventually they had to remove the whole thing. Turns out that there was a bush growing in the piping. Yes, you read that right. The roots from the bush growing just outside our apartment had breached the pipes to our toilet so it wouldn't flush.
A couple weeks ago a fire had started down the hill from my apartment. I had just gotten out of the shower when someone started pounding on the front door. My fiancee answered it and I heard a hurried conversation outside and then my fiancee come back inside. I put on a bathrobe and asked him what that was all about. He said that there a was a fire across the street and that we might get a call from 911 to evacuate. We didn't know what to do. We both had to work but we couldn't leave the cats behind in case we did need to evacuate. So I called my work to tell them I'd be a little late and not 2 minutes after I hung up the house phone rang. It was 911 with our Immediate emergency evacuation call. So we packed up the cats, packed up a few irreplaceable items, stopped by my work to tell them I had to go stay with my mom (who lives an hour away) because we didn't have anywhere else to go. My boss was actually pretty cool about it. I had some personal time so I still got paid. I got to go home that night. They got the fire under control within a couple hours.
This all happened within the period of about a month and a half. I'm sure there were other things but I really don't want to try and dredge it up. So...now that my life has taken on at least the semblance of peace I would like to get back into the swing of things.
- Location:My room
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Love Like Winter ~ AFI
So, I had this weird dream the other night. My fiancee and I we're standing together in front of a mirror and I had my back against his chest. We we're standing to the side so I had a side view of us and he was lifting my shirt part way up and trying to tell me something. When I looked in the mirror I saw that I was REALLY skinny, like you could see my hip bones protruding and all of my ribs were showing. I stopped fighting with him to get my shirt back and just stared. I was really confused, thinking: "But...that's not me. I'm fat...not skinny." When I woke up I was really depressed about it.
- Mood:
lethargic - Music:Evolution ~ Korn
- Location:Bedroom
- Mood:
sick - Music:Kiss ~ Korn
Woot! All I had today was a small glass of V8. And I'm not even hungry! I was gonna go for a jog today but it's raining. Again. Like it ever does anything else here. It's my day off and all I've done today is lie in bed playing my DS. Oh, I did laundry also. But other than that it's been a lazy day and you know what? It's actually really nice. I haven't been able to just relax in a long while. Feels good.
- Mood:
content - Music:Miss Murder ~ AFI
- Location:my room
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:Protege Moi ~ Placebo
No progress weight loss-wise but I only ate a strawberry yogurt and then went to Red Robin for dinner with friends. I only ate half and it was a BBQ chicken wrap with a few fries so it couldn't have been that much. Today I had 2 slices of pepperoni pizza and like 4 dove chocolates. So...better than I have been. MUCH better. I've somewhat lost all interest in food lately. That last sentence didn't make any sense but, whatever. I'm wearing my rings again to help remind me of all the weight I need to loose. They squeeze my fingers. Not so much that it hurts but you can see my fingers are fat and well...they're my hands...I have to look at them. Plus, my best friends wedding is in June and there is NO WAY IN HELL that I'm gonna be the fat chick. I would also really like to loose 10 lbs. by my birthday. I have a little piece of paper with that goal written on it that I folded into a little square and carry around with me in my pocket. I put my hands in my pockets alot so I'll always touch it and again be reminded that I MUST loose weight or die. I know that that's what I did last month and still didn't reach my goal but I feel in control now. I can resist my urges to eat. My fiancee and I are talking about having our own wedding in October so the weight loss MUST START NOW! No more dicking around.
- Location:my room
- Mood:
apathetic - Music:Repetition of Hatred ~ Dir En Grey
I am so so sooooooo tired of loosing the same 3 lbs. over and over and over again. It's driving me nuts! I was doing so well for about a week and then WHAM! Thanksgiving. Totally fucking ruined everything. Now I can't stop eating again. Fuck fuck FUCK! I decided today though:
~ No more fast food
~ No more soda
~ No more candies
Really...just no more food in general. Small snack-like meals throughout the day. Healthy ones too. Fruits and veggies, that sort of thing. I MUST loose 10 lbs. by christmas. I even wrote it on this piece of paper that I folded up real small and keep in my pocket. To remind me every time I even think about stuffing my fat face. I won't do it anymore. NO MORE! I will not be this fat cow anymore! Like I tell myself everyday: Do you want to fit in that wedding dress, or do you want to eat and get even fatter? DO NOT PUT FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH!!! I must do this. I must loose those 10 lbs. by christmas and another 10 lbs. by my birthday (which is about a month later). I should have lost approximately 25-30 lbs. by Valentines Day. *sigh* It's a start. Now I just need to stick to it. I hate how all my posts are about my failures. I promise, my next post will be about my accomplishment.
Starting Weight: 150 LBS. :[
- Location:my room
- Mood:
depressed - Music:Obscure ~ Dir En Grey
- Location:my room
- Mood:
determined - Music:Saku ~ Dir En Grey
- Mood:
cranky - Music:Thoughtless ~ KoRn
- Mood: cranky
- Music:Bitch We Got a Problem ~ KoRn
- Mood:
pissed off
Anyway, I'm here lookin for some friends so if your interested drop me a line.
- Mood:
blah - Music:Coming Undone - KoRn
